Not only I have studied and prayed many years and tried to live His teachings, but my serious health problems have given me the opportunity to come to know God. He has been there when no one knew what to do and carried me through the moments when I couldn't go any further. I have felt His presence and His love. I know that our Savior gave His life for me and that all He does is to help us all grow and return again to live with Him and Heavenly Father.
Your concern is whether He a vengeful God to be feared. Here is some commentary on that:
Here are more articles you might like to read
Please understand this right now—God is not a vengeful, punitive god who is somehow looking for new ways to torment, embarrass, and punish you. (Patricia Holland) http://http//
Yes, sometimes the Lord speaks very strongly. This does not mean that He is cruel or vengeful, but that He loves and respects us. He allows us free agency (the ability to choose and act for ourselves) and therefore allows us to suffer the consequences of our actions. If we repent, He atones (pays for our sins). God often strongly warns people of the consequences of their actions. This is not evidence that He is mean and punishing, but that He is trying to help us change and avoid the suffering our actions are leading us to.
I find the Bible Videos really help me come to know the Savior. (LDS.org, Resources, Media Library, Bible Videos- The Life of Jesus Christ ) I think you will enjoy them.
Remember that coming to know the Savior is a life long process. Hold to other's faith as you gradually gain your own witness. It will come with effort. Questioning can lead to the deepening of testimony. It has for me. Have faith and search for answers. http://www.lds.org/search?